YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My vagina just clenched in fear
wow bdsm is so cute
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
