am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
