real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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