i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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