My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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