Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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