Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
