And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
