I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
