She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
