i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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