I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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