PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
