well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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