One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
