he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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