We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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