Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
