finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
