is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
