Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
