one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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