Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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