is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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