I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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