I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
