I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The air was thick with penises
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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