What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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