Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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