I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
