He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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