Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize