Don't you send me to vm
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
