I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
