someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
