This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
