girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
