Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
