I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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