we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
