Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My pussy is not your playground.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
oh god was she eating orange peels again
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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