I feel great
I just peed on a car
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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