No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
