How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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