I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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