We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
soo... how was my night?
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