i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
