Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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