Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
