I wish my penis had an off switch
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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