These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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