So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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