nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
